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The process affects me personally, aged 45 at the time of the symptoms

When this happened, I had no idea about 5BN!

In 1995, I started working (as the first employee!) at a newly founded electronics company. My boss was highly motivated, extremely competent, and (in my opinion) had high expectations of me.
This put me under a certain amount of pressure to perform, which I tried my best to live up to. It soon became apparent that I would not be able to repeat my previous problem-free contributions as an electronics engineer in the research department. Instead, I was forced to adopt a completely new way of thinking in technical terms.

This inevitably led to a massive loss of self-esteem. Nevertheless, my boss signaled to me that he needed me. On the one hand, that made me feel good, but on the other hand, it increased the pressure I felt to perform. In the end, I couldn't satisfy myself. At times, I even felt like a complete failure.
It took at least two years before I stopped identifying too closely with the company and making its growth dependent on me. Until then, countless hours of overtime every day were the norm.
When I started to slow down a bit, I noticed the first signs of discomfort in my legs.

Eventually, pain and restricted movement in my lumbar spine were added to the mix. On the day I was supposed to go to a doctor's appointment, I experienced a paralyzing, shooting pain in my spine while putting on my shoes. I dragged myself to the car and went to the doctor in this condition, who diagnosed me with a herniated disc.

A few days later, I experienced weakness in my right foot and toe lifters. I ended up at Dresden University Hospital, where I lay for almost two weeks without being able to get up.
After the tomography, there was a form on my bedside table asking me to undergo surgery. However, I had a tremendous instinctive fear of this.
I couldn't imagine that it would be a good idea to have surgery on my spine.
So I did my best to ignore the form. This led to the chief physician coming to my bedside one evening and talking to me very patiently. In the end, he said something along the lines of: "... You only have this and that—you can live with that—if I were you, I wouldn't have the surgery...!"
This statement was like a miracle to me and more than a relief. The next morning, I got up for the first time...

After 14 days of rehab and a few more days of feeling ill, I felt quite well again. Things got a little better every day.
In total, I was out of action for just under 3 months.

The solution to self-esteem conflict began when I took a step back from my ambition. I realized that it wasn't my company.
During my time in the hospital, I had thoughts like: ...the company broke my back, etc.
But of course, it was just my feeling of failure.
However, I finally came to terms with the issue of self-esteem on the day I returned to work: all my colleagues, including my boss, said to me, almost word for word: “Thank God you're back!”
I also came up with a saying for myself: “I do what I can, but what doesn't happen today may not happen tomorrow either!”
I am convinced that these were the prerequisites for preventing a recurrence.

The whole thing did not remain without consequences. My spine is no longer what it used to be. But that's not a problem; I've come to terms with it.

It was not until three years later that I came into contact with 5BN. Suddenly, it was very easy to understand the cause and course of my illness.

Nevertheless, I am aware that I was “lucky” with my symptoms, because a more severe course can certainly necessitate surgery—with all the risks that entails.

In summary:

- The conflict (DHS) arose when I felt unable to meet my boss's expectations. Duration: approx. 2 years. There were no noticeable symptoms during this time.

- The solution began when I realized that this was only about a company that was not mine and when I realized that I was “useful” despite my perceived shortcomings. Symptoms: discomfort due to nerve entrapment, pain, BS prolapse, duration: (pclA, until the swelling began to subside): estimated 4 weeks. pclB: >1 year – difficult to estimate.